After the fall
by Wolpertinger
Summary: My "own" ninth season, how I think it could go on. The fall of the angels has released something mighty and put the Winchesters on a new dangerous mission.


**First things first: This is my first english fanfiction, so be patient with me, please, I'm still practicing! **

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It was a look nobody has experienced before. Everywhere on the world they fell. In flames. The angels.  
The days after the incident, media had nothing else to talk about as the „human rain", the happening some people called it as god's work. Some other just couldn't explain to themselfes what happened. And some knew.  
Most of the fallen were alive. Cast out of heaven to live now as humans, scared and confused, without orientation. The less lucky hit the ground and shattered, their human life put to an end before it began.  
And somewhere out there he was. One of them, one of these falling fireballs was Castiel. Dean was certain about this. But he didn't want to think about it. Cas could have survived but also he could have not. And even when he was alive, he could be anywhere.

He snorted and rubbed his punding forehead. Don't think, don't think about it.

He stood up from his chair and went over to Sam's bedroom to look after his brother. Sam looked more dead than alive after the trials, breathing barely visible, but Dean knew he lived. And that was the most important point. He just needed time to recover but that turned out as a difficult task. He suffered from fever, slept the most time. When wasn't watching the actual news Dean was with him. Always.

It was a week ago by now when it happened. A week, where Dean seemed to float somewhere between shock and delirium. He barely rememberes anything. He couldn't remember how he managed to get Sam into the car, couldn't remember how he got back to the bunker and even the last days where not more than a foggy mess. Maybe the only reason he didn't went insany by now. He tried not to think, didn't allowed himself to. It would make it worse.  
He sat down on the edge of Sams bed, careful not to wake his little brother and placed one hand on his forehead. He was still warm but the worst seemed to be over thanks to the medicine he forced into his feferish brother a few hours ago. But Dean couldn't do more than that now. Just wait and hope. Don't think.  
„I'll be back later, Sammy...", Dean murmured before leaving the room again. The door shut quiet and when Dean eventually turned around he looked right into Kevins face. The prophed wanted to stay in the bunker. Nobody knows, whast will happen next, so it might be still too dangerous for him to go home yet.  
„How is he?"  
„Unchanged. Asleep." Dean didn't really want to talk and stifled a yawn.  
„You should rest, too. When was the last time you slept?"  
„I'm fine..."  
„Dean-"  
„I said I'm fine, Kevin!"  
Dean couldn't sleep. His head won't let him. He tried it but then there were all the pictures, all the memories he was only able to oppress when he was awake. He looked weary and tired, as if he could fall asleep every moment.  
„I'm here, too, I can check on Sam while you sleep. It doesn't help anyone if you go on like that!"  
Dean narrowed his eyes and made a step towards Kevin. He tried to look angry but Kevin could see that there was nothing more than exhaustion showed in his face.  
„I know that you're worried about Sam", Kevin started. Dean was able to look terribly threatening if he wants, Kevin knew that. But he also knew, Dean wouldn't harm him because of a simple talk. He trusted Dean.  
„You know, what should I say? I'm jobless somehow now. Can't go home and nothing to do as a Prophet."  
He didn't want to say that everything was useless, didn't want to believe that either. But it was hard to keep holding on something like hope when no one knows what would happen next or what to do.  
„It's no use to barricade yourself and lament over things that happened. It doesn't help Sam! It doesn't help him if he wakes up and the first he sees is just a wreck of his brother!"  
That was enough. Dean grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, lifted him up at eye level.  
„So then would you tell me what to do would'ya?!"  
„Dean, let me down..."  
„It's over, you hear me?! The angels are lost, WE lost! Whatever happened up there, it's over and we lost that fight, dammit!"  
„So you surrender?" Now Kevin sounded angry, he glared at Dean, still trying to get free from his grip. „You will just give up 'cuz something didn't work as you wanted?! Is that it? Isn't this pathetic showing the white feather and backing off like a beaten dog?!"  
Silence.  
Dean didn't know what to say anymore. He felt helpless, alone, didn't know if there is anything he could do. He put Kevin back on his feet, avoided eye-contact. Eventually he turned around, wanted to escape from the situation and left. A door was slammed shut and Kevin was left back in silence.

The engine of the Impala roared as Dean hit on the gas. It helped a little. The sharp draft from the opened window brought him back to reality, the speed and the familiar noises of the car gave him the feeling of safety. After a few miles he bend off the street and followed a dirt track, eventually stopped at a field. On the other side of it was a small forest, a hunting lodge was left alone between the trees. Dean got out of the car, patting its roof like praising her for being so patient with him and his moods these days. He could hear some birds and the leaf rustling in the treetops. Nothing else. It seemed so peacful. But Dean knew it wasn't. He saw what happened. He was one of the few, das simply knew what really was going on all over the world.  
He sat down on the engine hood. Memories came back. How often has he sat there. Alone or with Sam, having a break, watching the stars, the sunrise or whatever. It should feel familiar but it didn't. It felt different today. He felt different.  
He gazed up to the sky but remained silent first. Then he closed his eyes.

„Hey Cas. It's me..."

_Castiel was cold. And this very fact was shattering. From that moment he woke um on eath, his grace taken by Metatron he knew it was over. His body was aching, the ground was cold. But much worse was the feeling of complete helplessness._

„Cas, I...I don't want to believe that you might be dead."

_When he saw his brothers and sisters falling, not being able to do anything than standing and watching, it felt as if a frozen Hand gripped his heart and ripped it out of his body. He couldn't do anything, just stood there and stared. Their wings were ripped off their backs and they landed burning.  
Heavenly missiles._

„Most of them survived the fall. Crazy enough, it's a long way down here."

_It felt like an eternity where he just watched it. More beautiful than shooting stars and still the most terrible Castiel has ever seen. His body went numb and everything seemed to vanish in a dark, foggy fell on his knees, felt his cheeks getting wet, felt his tears. He didn't bother to wipe them away, more would come, they wouldn't stop running over his face._

„Are you somewhere out there, Cas? Can you hear me?"

_He heard a scream, a scream he didn't recognize as his own until he felt the pain in his throat. He couldn't bear it anymore, couldn't do anything than screaming out his despair._

„Please, answer me, Cas!"

_Castiel didn't know how long he just sat there and cried. Eventually ist stopped, everything went silent. In Castiels head it screamed, the silence was louder than the storm before. Everything went dark.  
After some time he found back to consciousness, managed to get back on his feet and started walking. He didn't know where to go, just let his feet find a way, kept walking on. He refused to look at the bodies when he passed a crater. The broken, human vessels that they are now. He averted his eyes from the still smoldering, shattered wings. He knew it was all over.  
And it was his fault._

„You are out there, I know it. Somewhere..."  
The nearly dark sky blurred in front of Deans eyes.  
„You have to be there, I'm begging you..."

_Castiel has lost his sense of time. He didn't know where he was, didn't where to go. Some time he found a street and startet following it, so he didn't has to wander through the wilderness anymore. It was cold. Every now and then he lay down to sleep a little, ignoring the fact of the cold, wet ground. He was hungry and thirsty, at the end of his power but something let him stand um again and again, it forced him to keep walking._

Dean became silent. Castiel stopped. Two pairs of eyes looked up to the sky, searching for answers. The sky stayed mute. It was cold and dark, light rain poured down. Nobody heard it as a weak body fell to the ground.

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**Thank you so much for reading! Reviews would be nice, motivation, critic... everything that helps me to improve my english writing will make me happy! Hope you liked it.**


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